


"... After making a frightful gash; my shoes were full [of blood]"

by Adeadlymusician



Series: Disabuse [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, Communication, Feelings, Fix-It, Kinda, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, Purple Prose, Semi-graphic violence, Shido is a dick, Skirts the edge of rated T and rated M so I'm being cautious and putting it as M, Unconsciousness, Vomiting, but we all know that, nobody dies i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-30 12:44:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14497266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adeadlymusician/pseuds/Adeadlymusician
Summary: At first, he couldn't help but notice Akira's concerned expression. However, once he spotted the bruises on the black haired boy’s face, they were the only thing he could focus on. He heaved again. Akira placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and moved the glass forward. The older boy parted his lips and drank greedily. After swallowing, Goro gently grabbed the glass, downing the rest of it quickly. It did nothing for the acidic aftertaste in his mouth.





	"... After making a frightful gash; my shoes were full [of blood]"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [songofproserpine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofproserpine/gifts).



> To whom this is dedicated to: I love you (platonically). I've had this in the works for a while and I decided that, since we share a love for English Literature, I would go ahead and dedicate it to you. I hope you like it!

Joker's beaten and bleeding body laid on the hard floor: one could mistake him for dead if not for the shallow breaths that escaped his lips frequently. Crow scrambled, as much as he could for a malnourished, famished, and injured boy, to aid Joker. He had no healing spells, but he did his best; He put pressure on the injuries, trying to stop the flow of blood; He sat Joker up against the barrier, avoiding the bloody gashes. But alas, he could not; Healing was not his forte. The concerned shouts of the Phantom Thieves echoed from the other side of the barrier. Crow scrambled upward and summoned Loki, launching as many attacks without restraint towards the barricade as his weakened body could. His frantic efforts were of no use, however; the barrier held strong. Crow screamed in frustration. He vaguely felt Joker's head lean against his boot.

“Crow? Is that you?” Queen shouted from the other side.

“Yes! I can't break through!” He lamented, frustrated and angry.

“Take Joker out of the Metaverse!” Oracle called after a pause. “His injuries shouldn't transfer into reality!”

“Are you sure!” Crow answered back, his voice hoarse.

“Yes!” Oracle responded. Crow turned back to grab Joker. He froze, ice flowing through his veins. Joker's head was bleeding into his boot, leaving his foot soaked with the dying liquid. Crow dry heaved and fell to his feet. He felt so disgusting and dirty, not because of Joker, but because of himself. He tried to ignore the ugly squelching of his movements as he gathered Joker into his arms and activated the MetaNav to return to reality.

Goro shuddered in relief when he felt that both of his feet were dry. He glanced over to his right where Akira laid motionless. Oracle was right with her assumption that the injuries were not as serious. But Akira had faded into unconsciousness, his body exhausted. As much as Goro wished he could take Akira back to Leblanc, he did not have the energy nor the time. It was late, and there would be little chance of transporting Akira while he was still bruised and bloodied without drawing attention. He sent a quick text to the group chat with his address and a short message attached. Goro ran towards his apartment, careful to avoid bashing Akira’s head into anything. Bile rose up in his throat at Akira’s almost lifeless body. He felt terrible, like there was an aching poison inhabiting his body that drained him of the will to live. It wasn't right, for Akira to die. Goro cursed himself for ever thinking that killing Akira would help him. This entire plan was terrible. His revenge against Fat- Shido. His blackmail and subsequent betrayal of the Phantom Thieves. His final attempt at stopping the Thieves. He could admit that the thieves weren't as bad as he thought originally, but... As much as he loathed to admit it, he had grown rather attached to their leader. Maybe more than he was willing to admit. The two had shared many joyous occasions that were definitely not one-sided, after all. Goro knew he was a fucked up person with no chance of redemption, but he vowed that he would not hurt Akira again. Never again, if possible. His revenge be damned. Vomit rose in the back of his throat. He swallowed, his throat incinerated.

Goro all but shoved his front door open. He lumbered into his room; All of the lights were off, leaving the space drenched in pitch blackness. He set Akira carefully on his bed before retreating immediately into the bathroom. He vomited finally, his body smoldering with shame. Once he emptied the contents of his gut, he sat back and closed his eyes, his stomach churning violently. He didn't feel much better as the world spun around him. Everything… was for nothing. His soul was an inconceivable mystery that knew no restraint, no faith, and no fear.  The mental shutdowns, the psychotic breakdowns… stopped only because of one ~~handsome~~ boy. If Akira hadn't stepped in, how far would he have gone? Would he have killed himself? Would he have turned himself in? Was it even possible to tell now? So distracted by his body's physical reaction to grief, Goro didn't notice the footsteps that went into the kitchen to retrieve water and lumber haphazardly into the bathroom.

Goro was startled by the glass put to his lips. His eyesight focused, the disorientation gone; at first, he couldn't help but notice Akira's concerned expression. However, once he spotted the bruises on the black haired boy’s face, they were the only thing he could focus on. He heaved again. Akira placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and moved the glass forward. The older boy parted his lips and drank greedily. After swallowing, Goro gently grabbed the glass, downing the rest of it quickly. It did nothing for the acidic aftertaste in his mouth.

“Are you feeling better?” Akira prompted quietly, playing with a strand of brunette hair.

“Yes and no,” he replied honestly, his form shaking. Akira helped him up, a warm light guiding him into the pitch black bedroom. The brunette stumbled a bit before finding the bed. Goro set the empty glass on the table and collapsed in his bed, his face buried in a pillow. He heard Akira shuffling around, eventually reaching to grab the brunette’s phone from his breast pocket. He shivered.

“You don't have to stay if you feel well enough to leave. Actually…” Goro started. Akira climbed into bed with him, placing a hand on his mouth, careful to avoid blocking his airway.

“I want to stay. You said that you wanted to be accepted and loved for all of who you are, and I think you wish for that person to be me.” Akira said quietly, tracing the contours of the brunette's face. “Well, I do accept you and I do love you. So… just let go. I already told Sojiro and the others that I am going to stay with you, no matter what they say or do.”

Goro said nothing, only sighing. He leaned into Akira's touch, trying to focus only on the feeling of his hand. Akira chuckled, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“I don't expect you to tell me everything, nor do I want you to force yourself to,” Akira said. “But… If you think it would help, I'll gladly listen to whatever you feel ready to share.”

“Why are you so kind…?” Goro huffed, sinking into Akira's arms. “I've hurt you: I almost killed you! And yet you're so…. caring. Loving. I don't understand.”

“I don't either, if I'm honest. But… I want to. Help you. Be there for you,” Akira said. “By the way, unless we have to, we aren't going to turn you into the police.”

“Huh?” Goro asked, speechless. He barely whispered his next question. “Why?”

“Even after we change Shido's heart, the corruption in the police system won't disappear. Considering the fact that you aren't actually liked, just tolerated… I don't want to take any chances. Not after what happened to me,” Akira said, his eyes closing involuntarily at the memories. Akira had a feeling that the older boy's soul was mad too; he needed to watch the other's progress if not for him, then for himself.

“Jail time also won't help. It will just isolate you more, which is the last thing you need. You won't get off completely: I think even you would agree with that. I think there's something to do with monetary donations and community service…? Sae’s working out the details with Makoto. But…”

Goro remained silent, aghast. He laid motionless, his thoughts churning quickly in his mind. He could see Akira's face now, who had a soft smile gracing his features. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Was it really getting lighter in the room? Or had his eyes adjusted to the dark?

“Akechi?” Akira asked tentatively, stifling a yawn.

“Goro.” He replied finally, staring at the boy in front of him. He took note of his companion's exhausted state. “Call me Goro. If I'm honest, I've wanted you to call me by my given name for awhile, but I never thought I would be comfortable letting anyone, not even you, use my first name…”

“Did you think I wouldn’t agree?” Akira asked, somewhat curious. He forced himself to keep his eyes open.

“No. I knew you would: you're that type of person, after all. It's just… I'm Akechi Goro. The detective price. The model orphan. The popular celebrity.” Goro started, his mind hazy. He couldn't articulate his thoughts well; Frustration built up in him again. Akira placed a comforting hand on his wrist.

“Calling you Goro would make it more personal because it would be you, not just the masks you wear for the public, right?” Akira realized, trailing off. He tried to shake off the exhaustion settling in his bones. “...Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Trusting me, finally,” Akira said, his eyes closing involuntarily. “ Will you be okay?”

“For now, yes,” Goro affirmed, cuddling close to Akira. “Goodnight Akira."

“Already?” Akira asked, cuddling closer.

“Yes. I can also see you nodding off,” Goro responded. The moon appeared fully from behind the clouds, giving Goro a full view of Akira's flushed face. “Don't be embarrassed. I'm tired, too.”

“G’night then, Goro,” Akira mumbled after a pause, pressing closer. The sight of the moonlight shining off of Goro's hair was the last sight Akira saw before he finally succumbed to sleep

 

* * *

 

When Goro woke up, he knew it was late in the day as the sunlight illuminated his room fully. The brunette made a mental note to clean his room later; he had been putting off the chore for a week now. He glanced up at Akira, who appeared to be glowing. He seemed so… peaceful and angelic. Goro smiled and closed his eyes, not wanting to face the world at the moment.

“Finally, one of you is up,” Futaba's voice rang from the entrance to his room. Goro shot up, alarmed. He relaxed slightly when he saw the hacker.

“How did you…? Wait, nevermind.” Goro stated, remembering what had happened the day previous. “What time is it?”

“Afternoon.” She replied cheekily. Goro reached for his phone that Akira had put on the charger. _12:03._ Thank God it was Sunday.

“Yep.” She replied. “Sojiro was worried, but I told him you both were fine.”

“How long have you been here?” Goro prompted, trying to detach himself from Akira's vice grip. His movement only made Akira grab on tighter.

“Couple hours. You're both cute when you're asleep!” She replied, grinning. Goro sighed, sitting up fully. The movement roused Akira, who whined at the sun shining in his eyes.

“Goro?” He asked sleepily. Goro smiled sheepishly, ruffling his fluffy hair.

“I'm here. Sakura-chan is too,” The brunette replied, averting his gaze fully to Akira. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” Akira replied, stretching. The hem of Akira's shirt inched up, revealing a plethora of faint bruises underneath. Goro couldn't help himself from touching the marred skin.

“When did you get these?” He inquired. Akira whined, pulling his shirt down.

“Don't worry about it,” he mumbled. Goro shook his head.

“You don't take care of yourself. At all. It's no wonder Takamaki-chan always fusses over you,” he pointed out, amusement shining in his eyes.

“Ugh. When's the wedding, you two? Sojiro is going to need some time to plan,” Futaba said with fake exasperation. Akira spluttered, his face flushing.

“What on Earth are you talking about?” Goro replied, feigning ignorance.

“Nothing. It's just that you're acting like an old married couple already.” Futaba replied smugly, a knowing smirk on her face. Goro sighed.

“There's no arguing with you, is there?” Goro replied. “I assume the others are coming by?”

“Nope! But we want you both to stop by Leblanc later today,” Futaba said, standing up. “And don't even think about ditching. I have blackmail material now.”

Akira groaned and laid his face on Goro's shoulder. Goro smiled and hesitantly looked up at Futaba. “We’ll be by.”

“You better,” She warned before walking out of the room. Goro sighed and leaned his head on Akira's. The memories of last night were slowly returning, and it left a heavy feeling in his stomach.

“You okay?” Akira asked. Goro shook his head, pushing down his instinct to put on a facade. He had very little to lose right now, so he might as well take some risks.

“No. But I'll be okay, as long as you're by my side,” Goro admitted truthfully. He felt Akira smile into his shoulder.

“Good to hear. Let's get cleaned up and head over.” Akira said. Goro nodded and went to his dresser, grabbing a set of clothes for the both of them. Goro knew that they were avoiding the inevitable, but he let it slide. There would be a time and place for that discussion and now was not it. Not for either of them. Arms wrapped around his torso, a cold nose pressed into his bare neck.

“A clingy one, aren't you? Has Morgana been giving you lessons?” Goro asked.

“I want to talk later. Alone. After we talk with the others. Is that okay?” He inquired quietly. Goro nodded and rubbed his hand reassuringly.

“Let's get moving before your team kicks down my front door,” Goro prompted, his lips curling upward slightly.

“ _Our_ team,” Akira corrected, releasing the hug. “You're a member too, whether you like it or not.”

“I… suppose I am,” Goro replied, an elevated feeling coursing through his blood at Akira's bright and sunny grin. Out of all the outcomes to their eventual confrontation, Goro never thought that this would be a possibility. But he would take this over dying on the floor of _that_ ship any day.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus:
> 
> Goro (??/12/2016, 1:18 AM): I... The location of my apartment is tagged in this text. Kurusu-kun is unconscious but otherwise fine. I can't take him to Leblanc, so you'll have to come pick him up. The door will be unlocked.
> 
> Akira (??/12/2016, 1:36 AM): hey guys. I'm staying with Goro tonight. He's… not faring well, to put it lightly. Don't come bother us until morning. I need to talk with him alone. He already sent the chat his address, so you can come bother us tomorrow morning, but keep in mind that I like to sleep in. I know you don't trust him, but I hope you trust me enough to let me do what I feel is right. I know I’m asking a lot. I know. But please… I need this.
> 
>  
> 
> If you haven't figured it out yet, this fic has major references to all parts of Joseph Conrad's novella "Heart of Darkness". It's the hardest text I have ever read to date, including Shakespeare. (For whatever reason, I just get Shakespearean English). I have purposely put 5 direct references/quotes (including the title) to the novella in the fic. There are a few indirect ones as well. Find them if you can!
> 
> As a side note, exam season is upon me. And I have 8 major exams over the next two weeks to prepare for/do. Therefore, I won't be as frequent with posting content (I've tried to post something at least once a month). Sorry to disappoint all of the two people who actually like my writing!


End file.
